At midnight last night, I got the meanest texts ever! The ex did NOT like the article at all! This absolutely floored me. I felt as though I was reflecting and taking full responsibility for how I helped fuck up our dynamic.
Honestly, the “Life” article was both freeing and very hard to write. Freeing because it feels goods to tell truth and hard because the truth ain’t always easy. I just know that when it ended I had one primary goal, to be completely transformed from the whole experience. The break up was by far the hardest thing I have EVER dealt with in that, it went deeper than 2 people I lost tons (I mean TONS) of friends as soo many were affected and so many had to “choose”.
The blogging has been for me what writing has always been; therapy. When I began the blog I realized the power it had to help and so I made a pact to stay in integrity, tell the truth and NEVER ever play the victim.
So often, after a breakup, blaming feels good, even healthy at times but what would I gain from that other than more of what I don’t want? They say lessons are repeated until they are learned and man do I believe that!
My whole point of the “Life” article was the realization that I was the pot calling the kettle black. What I thought was wrong was not wrong at all, it just wasn’t for me and no matter who you are and what you do there is someone out there who can and should embrace you. And if there are qualities about yourself you hate then either change them or find a way to fall in love with them. Because in truth, our relationships are reflections and if we can’t embrace ourselves then a relationship will only mirror back that which we cant stand to see…
I will always believe that every relationship in our lives should uplift, make us feel great and help us breathe easier.
My intention was never to cause even more pain by writing but to just honestly tell my side, express my thoughts and get my free therapy. I understand that you can’t please all the people all the time and you shouldn’t even try. I didn’t snap back at the ex….I held firm, suggested he read it again and simply said,
IT’S MY BLOG! I CAN WRITE IF I WANT TO!!!