The Human experience amazes me. It is both beautiful and baffling. I believe this entire experience is charged by love, or the lack of it.. I often think of one of my favorite films: “Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind.” The two main characters fall madly in love and then throughout the course of their relationship things fall apart as with many couples. All the things they loved about one another in the beginning, drew them apart in the end and with the help of a doctor, they erased each other from their minds. Having no memory of their doomed relationship, they meet and fall in love again but then discover they have both had their memories erased and decide to stay together any way.. That, to me, was the ultimate statement in love.
No matter how rough most relationships can be, we are there to go it again, to try to make it work, to give it another shot and pray that love prevails..
I must tell you that I cant seem to shake my curiosity in this area of the heart. How does one maintain happiness, freedom, and love? For me, I find the ego has the ability to get in the way and really mess it all up. We are not fighting our significant other, we are fighting ourselves.
How do we break the vicious cycle? I don’t claim to have all of the answers or even some for that matter but I do know these things are essential for my growth:
READ, READ, READ!! Read books about self love, spirituality and relationships. Knowledge is power and having the wisdom to apply the knowledge is TRUE power.
Apologize. Saying “I’m sorry” from the heart can heal and taking responsibility is so freeing.
Find ways to be happy on your own. I make happiness a goal like some aspire to run a 10k marathon. If happiness is the goal, you will make decisions in alignment with it.
Be vulnerable. If you are constantly trying to protect your heart from being broken, you lose. You may be missing out on true love.
Be honest. This is not easy because more than anything, we as humans lie about our feelings. “I wasn’t upset.” “I’m not jealous.” and the list goes on. Not only do we need to be honest, we need to create a space for our other half to feel comfortable with being honest.
And also.. Have a lot of sex! It releases hormones that make us happy and it strengthens our bond…
Our work for good relationships is like brushing our teeth, we must do it everyday, never missing one day. And this work has to be done in all relationships: kids, family, co-workers…you name it!
Of course there’s a million other things that can help any relationship, these are just a few.. I realized that maybe the mind can’t be spotless, but with work and the releasing of things that are fear-based senseless distractions, then we begin to find love for ourselves and the love we desire.